Joe Phoenix > why don't you come out and face us.. settle this thing..

For several weeks the IEEE sparred with the Imperial Commonwealth.  It soon became readily apparent that Joe was neither letting his corpmates know of the dangers they were in due to being under an active Standards and Practices Investigation nor informing his newer employees of how to appropriately equip a ship for combat.  I don't know how many pilots died screaming with sharp things in their heads, but at this point the IC was haemorraging members, dropping from around twenty or so at its height to something like five or six with no more than two or three pilots active in space at any time.  One particular unfortunate, Cpt. Tenbears, kept insisting on mining in a Bantam light mining frigate in New Caldari system for about two weeks, and must have lost at least three or four of his ships before he decided to vanish.  The last time we saw him that I can remember he ejected from his ship the instant Zedrik appeared in his asteroid belt, and I appropriated his ship.  Bantam Bear 13 is still in my hangar, and I have been known to use it as a spy-ship, can-flipper and baiter from time to time.

Around this time, Joe built a nest in Jita.  The Navy station orbiting Jita IV became his home and was (and often still is) the easiest place to find him.  We also discovered his affinity to the Warp Core Stabiliser, a device which prevents enemy ships from scrambling your engines and preventing you running for it.  Sadly, Joe's shields rarely last long enough for this to be an issue, even though he generally fits three or four of them.  It has since become an amusing urban myth that having the corpse of one of Joe's clones in your cargo hold gives a boost to any WCS you have installed. 

The Imperial Commonwealth also for a time joined the Hydra Reloaded Alliance, a rather.... eccentric group of ex Null Sec pilots, and was given the title "Rear Admiral" and put incharge of the mostly-mythical Hydra Capital Fleet.  The one thing he did gain out of this was several blood thirsty combat pilots who would actually help him.  This gave us a fairly good number for challenging targets, but also opened the way to a rather exciting time for me.

I was taking some stuff to Jita for Rabbit to sell.  Nothing exciting, just mission-salvage and some light minerals, buying myself some replacement torpedoes and repairing PT Boat 13 after I accidently-on-purpose rammed a Hydran Battleship the night before when I was hailed by the man himself, Grand Commander Rear Admiral Joseth Phoenix.  I set down my coffee and stared for a few seconds.   What could he want?

I decided to be open and civil with him; I'd not had the pleasure of his scintillating conversation before and this was not an opportunity I was going to pass up.

Joe Phoenix > hi

Damien McCandless > Good Evening Mr Phoenix

Joe Phoenix > hows it going

Damien McCandless > Im doing well thank you, how are you?

Joe Phoenix > ok thanks.. sorry we have to attack you but we have noo issue with you personally

Oh really?  Excellent.  My brain started to run through several possible scenarios, aided and abetted by the bag of Drop I was inhaling like so much Chinese Sky Candy.  The conversation continued.

Joe began to allude to the idea that Zedrik Cayne and the IEEE officers were leading us badly and that they weren't telling us anything (Joe would try this tactic with every new member of the IEEE he identified.  It never worked, but we adopted it and used it on his personnel with great effect to help explain why they were turning into explosions regularly).  I liked the thought of this, untrue as it was, and started to construct and elaborate ruse around it.  Before I could reply, Joe asked how much I was being paid.

Paid? I thought.  Joe I do this because I dislike you!

I thought quickly, glancing down into the cavernous and mostly empty bag of space-crack I was enjoying.

Hmm.....

I told him I got paid in drugs, and gave a random amount off the top of my head.  He replied that he felt this wasn't enough and that if I came over to the IC/Hydra Alliance I would get paid more drugs than I could possibly imagine.  As a great smuggler once quoth "I dunno, I can imagine quite a bit!".

 

I rolled up my bag of Drop-crystals and put it in the shielded compartment under my pod.  I was being bribed to switch sides!  Awesome.  Of course, I had no intention then of actually doing it.  This was more because I knew fine rightly that Joe did not have more drugs than I could imagine.  For a start, how could he hide a planet made entirely of drugs?  The final proof that he did not have these drugs was that once I'd mentioned them being part of the IEEE Health and Dental Plan, the Grand Commander began to quiz me on where Zedrik was getting these drugs;

 

Joe Phoenix > so does zedrik cayne actuelly produce these drugs?

Joe Phoenix > do you have any stations?...

Joe Phoenix > it should say on the corp main page...

Joe Phoenix > supply me with infomation and il give you enough drugs to last you a year..

A year?  Hmm okay, that would be an entire solar system made of drugs!  You got yourself a deal, Joey, I thought to myself.  After spinning some yarn about top secret officer meetings in the IEEE and how I was working my way up, I had him completely fascinated.  It was at this point that Joseth came up with a plan.  I was going to help him nail Zedrik Cayne.

Joe Phoenix > ok heres whats going to happen.. you come out to an astroid field.. we'l warp and scramble you.. and then zedrik comes along.. we kill him

Damien McCandless > ok

Damien McCandless > now I want to make this clear, if I lose my PT Boat, the deals off, ok? I cant afford another one right now

Damien McCandless > Assuming everything goes to plan tho, once you engage him, Ill zip off and be safe, yes?

Joe Phoenix > yes indeed
Damien McCandless > Ok Im going to go to the other station in Jita 4 first, I have to do something so its not suspicious. what system and what belt?

Possibly one of the most stupid plans I'd ever heard, but Zedrik was onboard with this (I was telling him everything as we went along).  As for the doing something that wasn't suspicious, I flew from the Navy station at Jita IV to the other station orbiting the same planet and removed every last piece of expensive or advanced technology from my ship.  I didn't trust Joe as far as I could throw him.

This thought proved to be quite prophetic as the plan moved into action..........