Joe Phoenix > could you quite posting stupid posts on the forum


Joe Phoenix > wow your all here to talk to me!

Hello again Dear Reader. About two months ago, Zedrik was interviewed about the "Joe Phoenix" issue, and apparently Joe was asked to do an interview too. This second interview has never materialised. In the interests of completeness, we here at IEEE we have fed all of the information we have on Joe Phoenix into an Artificial BraneTM as well as several possible questions, and this has produced this simulation of a what an interview with JOe Phoenix could possibly have looked like. Please be aware dear reader, this is only a simulation and NOT in anyway a sly dig at your friend and mine, Joe Phoenix.

1. How would you describe yourself?
Joe Phoenix > im some what of a collectable

2. How would others describe you?
Joe Phoenix > kill mail

3. Do you consider yourself successful?
Joe Phoenix > i have failed in no way
Joe Phoenix > infact, iv succeded where thousands have failed
Joe Phoenix > i have not failed in anything

4. What was your greatest success?
Joe Phoenix > the perfect state
Joe Phoenix > £2.50 and i saved a boys life...
Joe Phoenix > and last time i checked... by corp was fucking great

5. How did you achieve it?
Joe Phoenix > cloaked frigates running around in the shadows...

6. What has been your biggest failure?
Joe Phoenix > to stop the space race
Joe Phoenix > to beat the russians

7. How could you improve yourself?
Joe Phoenix > well im making a formal complaint

8. Are you a leader?
Joe Phoenix > im the leader
Joe Phoenix > not the dictator
Joe Phoenix > WE ARE THE COMMONWEALTH, WE DO NOT SURRENDER, WE DO NOT FALL

9. How do you handle criticism?
Joe Phoenix > it takes one to go againest the tide
Joe Phoenix > my corp mates want me to block all of the IEEE members...
Joe Phoenix > its the bigggest twat corp out there

10. What sort of manager are you?
Joe Phoenix > see you can say im "a shit ceo" and some dumb fucks might believe you
Joe Phoenix > but the truth is im 10x the commander you'l ever be

11. What makes a good manager?
Joe Phoenix > no killing IC members!

12. Do you work well with others? Or are you a loner?
Joe Phoenix > i have no opinion either way

13. Do you need other people around to stimulate you or are you self-motivated?
Joe Phoenix > yer... i do

14. Are you accepted into a team quickly?
Joe Phoenix > haha no

15. Can you act on your own initiative?
Joe Phoenix > still thinking...
Joe Phoenix > nope... i think im ok

16. How do you run a meeting?
Joe Phoenix > how is any speciel effects done

17. What motivates you?
Joe Phoenix > stuff that would really change your life...

18. What management style gets the best results out of you?
Joe Phoenix > im really not bothered

19. Do you know how to motivate other people?
Joe Phoenix > if one of my corp members has a problem, they come to me, we fix the issue, and we work it out
Joe Phoenix > for example
Joe Phoenix > with the war with the SSS
Joe Phoenix > we did have a number of children playing
Joe Phoenix > and the SSS members had a habit of personally attacking these members
Joe Phoenix > i had to comfort a number of children who where extreamly upset my the insults
Joe Phoenix > one was asking me what a "pussy hole" wsa
Joe Phoenix > what am i ment to say to a 10 year old? and then being proclaimed to be a lier, when i have never lied to anyone in eve ever!
Joe Phoenix > that kind of personal insult woulld hurt anyone

20. Are you competitive?
Joe Phoenix > yes yes more battleclinic

21. Are you aggressive?
Joe Phoenix > i am defensive
Joe Phoenix > my corp is not full of newbies
Joe Phoenix > we are contempt, and have no plans to hurt anyone, only to help

22. What do you dislike doing?
Joe Phoenix > i don't cause grief because that is hard
Joe Phoenix > i get really pissed off that most people are idiots like you...

23. Do you feel you are ready to take on greater responsibilities?
Joe Phoenix > iv you'd seen half the things iv seen this week....

24. Can you work under pressure?
Joe Phoenix > no
Joe Phoenix > because no everyone can be trusted atm
Joe Phoenix > somthing you seem to not understand
Joe Phoenix > being extreamly sad

25. How many hours are you prepared to work?
Joe Phoenix > 2.... 3 weeks?

26. Do you mind working for someone older than yourself? Younger than you? Of the opposite sex?
Joe Phoenix > really... i do

27. What interests do you have outside work?
Joe Phoenix > in and out of game i live to make a better world...
Joe Phoenix > i think i should write an autobiography...

28. What is IEEE Std 1471?
Joe Phoenix > IEEE...
Joe Phoenix > i don't care
Joe Phoenix > so how much longer is your investigation going to go for?

29. I am in a band; can I use Creative Commons licenses but still collect statutory royalties such as under statutory licenses for public performances?
Joe Phoenix > yes

30. If I join Air Force ROTC, does that mean I am joining the military?
Joe Phoenix > flying cows...
Joe Phoenix > that didn't come out right...

Joe Phoenix > what a load of crap
Joe Phoenix > i get annoyed at twats like yourself pissing me off..
Joe Phoenix > and when i find the rock your hiding under... im going to grind your head into the concrete

Well there we go Dear Reader, hot from the Atrificial Brane's digital readout to your minds. Make of it what you will.

-D

Joe Phoenix > the space within spaces....

Joe Phoenix > what the hell

I have spent a lot of time studying what I call the "Joe Phoenix Phenomenon". For your perusal I present Joe's views on the world, all from his own, unabridged, quotes. I offer no context other than that which you, the reader, wishes to place on these gems of the interweb. I now yield the floor to a fascinating glimpse into the mind of a man rapidly becoming a meme in his own lifetime….

WHO IS JOE PHOENIX?
Joe Phoenix > hi there
Joe Phoenix > don't no if you read the forum much..
Joe Phoenix > ok what do you want to know
Joe Phoenix > but bare in mind, im a busy man
Joe Phoenix > simply being the good guy
Joe Phoenix > defending the defensless
Joe Phoenix > i never "smack talked" anyone
Joe Phoenix > i get 10-30 messages a day telling me how shit i am
Joe Phoenix > im inbrakable

Joe Phoenix > whos the resident cyco with a god complex?

Joe Phoenix > im curious.. youv failed to outsmart me
Joe Phoenix > youv failed to fight me off
Joe Phoenix > youv failed to get me to step down
Joe Phoenix > and yet you say im stupid?
Joe Phoenix > fear not little shivering nit... i have not gone anywhere…
Joe Phoenix > haha oh my god, now the entire eve community is going to think im gordon brown

ON JOE AND HIS CORP
Joe Phoenix > the space within spaces....
Joe Phoenix > Imperiel commonwealth…
Joe Phoenix > we will evolve

2009.09.08 21:37
For anyone who hasn't already taken the oath. you must repeat the following and send it to all members through corp mail.

I promise the serve the commonwealth with dignity and honor, never questioning its future, dedicated to its prosparity and heroic in its defence.

I promise to serve it without question and fight to the last to protect what it stands for...

LONG LIVE THE COMMONWEALTH!

Joe Phoenix > i wouldn't put my corp in harms way
Joe Phoenix > i have never failed my corporation ever
Joe Phoenix > that, and our fleet is now operational
Joe Phoenix > in our last war we had no active defence fleet
Joe Phoenix > now we do
Joe Phoenix > so would the commonwealth fall under your area of interest

Joe Phoenix > who the fuck are you to tell me how to and how not to run a corp
Joe Phoenix > somone with a gcse in ict could do it
Joe Phoenix > i have millions in assets and some good contacts...

JOE AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Joe Phoenix > why die when you can use this opertunity to test tanking fits while pissing your enemies off
Joe Phoenix > id hire mercs
Joe Phoenix > i am annoyed and might in the near future hire an outside group of mercs to inflict damage equal to that of the scammed amount in order to restor charma
Joe Phoenix > however, this won't be for some time, as my corp requires me far more the i require charma
Joe Phoenix > i did not say i wouldn't or couldn't. i said i will.. now.. or later.. i will
Joe Phoenix > i currently have 500m,, i think i could afford it
Joe Phoenix > i dont no about oyu but 170m is not a large sum of money
Joe Phoenix > basicly mate i want this whole thing to go away without anyone getting hurt and without anyone being insulted.
Joe Phoenix > so are we ok now?
Joe Phoenix > no war decs going either way?
Joe Phoenix > my corp mates will stand by me
Joe Phoenix > and im going to make it very very uncomfortable for you to try and harras me
Joe Phoenix > i think one day i will come along a pod you, just for shits and giggles
Joe Phoenix > you would be the crap leader
Joe Phoenix > and i would be the victor
Joe Phoenix > well you haven't won
Joe Phoenix > making me the victor by defult
Joe Phoenix > i told you that last night you fucking goon
Joe Phoenix > thats a pittiful defence
Joe Phoenix > ahh the sweet smell of fear...
Joe Phoenix > hahahah i can almost taste it...
Joe Phoenix > your fucking lucky i don't have your corps now..
Joe Phoenix > i would have attacked you if you were a worthy target
Joe Phoenix > we won't kill you.. just give you abit of a scratch,,,
Joe Phoenix > see you can say im "a shit ceo" and some dumb fucks might believe you
Joe Phoenix > but the truth is im 10x the commander you'l ever be
Joe Phoenix > we lose the odd bc here and there
Joe Phoenix > nothing big

JOE AND SUBTERFUGE
Joe Phoenix > yes damien is my spy
Joe Phoenix > so is darcoknight

JOE AND TRADING
Joe Phoenix > i no fuck all about freightors
Joe Phoenix > im away with my badger
Joe Phoenix > you don't even know how a trade op works
Joe Phoenix > guys while your waiting why don't you buy some large sentry damage augmentor I
Joe Phoenix > why would the amarr buy minmittar shit

JOE AND MEDICINE
Joe Phoenix > studying medicen
Joe Phoenix > trust me iv worked at the cancer centre of the john radcliff hospital in oxford
Joe Phoenix > or maybe medical collage
Joe Phoenix > jello.... really
Joe Phoenix > you know how messed up that stuff is right?
Joe Phoenix > the E numbers disrupt DNA and RNA production resulting in flaws being transfered to the ribosomes, rough endoplasmic reticulum and smooth endoplasmic reticulum resulting in flaws within the protiens they produce. it also inturupts RNA transaction result
Joe Phoenix > in flaws being developed at the base level of DNA resulting in cancers and other ilnesses
Joe Phoenix > for example you probably have..... 100-2000 cancerous cells at any one time
Joe Phoenix > most of the time you kill them off befor they reach the state of defusion (when there to big for oxygen to defuse into the tuma and they have to foul the body into creating blood vessels to supply it with oxygen).
Joe Phoenix > however young people have not got a very health defence
Joe Phoenix > not disimular to mice
Joe Phoenix > 95% of all mice die of a form of cancer befor they die of natural causes
Joe Phoenix > along with every other fast food artophishally produced food on the market
Joe Phoenix > and its called jelly

Joe Phoenix > simply deslexia..
Joe Phoenix > oh so im not dyslexic now?
Joe Phoenix > being diagnosed you will know that every case is different
Joe Phoenix > there is no single one type
Joe Phoenix > and besides its not a discorder.. more of a stumble forward
Joe Phoenix > theres hundreds of meaning for numerical dyslexia…
Joe Phoenix > see deslexia is such a bitch
Joe Phoenix > you should be in a medical study
Joe Phoenix > it aparently adds +3 inches to your dick…

JOE AND POLITICS
Joe Phoenix > see your the reason why idiots run america..
Joe Phoenix > and the other countries of the eotld
Joe Phoenix > you were being a dick
Joe Phoenix > shut up or il get trident on your arse!
Joe Phoenix > obama is a living joke...
Joe Phoenix > wierd i know
Joe Phoenix > but then again
Joe Phoenix > people are stupid
Joe Phoenix > not you though, your alright

JOE AND BULLIES
Joe Phoenix > how can you not bully somone correctly
Joe Phoenix > i make a point of never doing that ever
Joe Phoenix > thats what our corp is for
Joe Phoenix > not only can he not bully somone correctly but he cant make sence of simple conversation....

JOE AND DRUGS
Joe Phoenix > yes congratz zedrik... i droped to e for the sake of droping an e
Joe Phoenix > makes you feel abit wierd for a fue days...
Joe Phoenix > but it will pass
Joe Phoenix > its like a yellow feaver shot
Joe Phoenix > so does zedrik cayne actuelly produce these drugs?
Joe Phoenix > supply me with infomation and il give you enough drugs to last you a year..
Joe Phoenix > ok how many drugs have you got?
Joe Phoenix > great... so how are we going to do drugs deal...
Joe Phoenix > but how else can i afford all thouse shinny gold medals...

JOE AND RELIGION
Joe Phoenix > damien im a buddiest,,,
Joe Phoenix > i am an agent of karma :P

JOE AND LIARS
Joe Phoenix > please don't lie
Joe Phoenix > i hate liers
Joe Phoenix > and i have no time for liers
Joe Phoenix > and how exactly do i "lie like a rug"
Joe Phoenix > ohhh my god
Joe Phoenix > when have i EVER lied
Joe Phoenix > damien il give you compansation for that..
Joe Phoenix > haha damien i might just give you that manticore one day

JOE AND SCIENCE
Joe Phoenix > niether did the right brothers invent the plane
Joe Phoenix > or cult invent the relover
Joe Phoenix > or edison invent the lightbulb
Joe Phoenix > but it was actuelly a french guy called... ergh can never remember his name
Joe Phoenix > although i do know that it has been impossible to land on the moon
Joe Phoenix > without 9 foot of solid lead shielding around that entire space craft thouse people would have been dead within 5 minutes of multiple organ failiure
Joe Phoenix > so im sorry to break it to you guys
Joe Phoenix > but man has never landed on the moon...
Joe Phoenix > not saying its impossible
Joe Phoenix > but at the moment it is...
Joe Phoenix > do you know of the pyramid alignement theory?

JOE AND DIET
Joe Phoenix > to start off im vegitarian...
Joe Phoenix > < vegitarian
Joe Phoenix > its a well known fact that im a vegitarian

JOE AND FAMILY
Joe Phoenix > could u not just go back to feeding your baby random pieces of good
Joe Phoenix > food*
Joe Phoenix > and gorking at her while she eats them
Joe Phoenix > i mean really... who enjoys watching that?
Joe Phoenix > my baby eats a bannana so what?
Joe Phoenix > (but the jello one was cute)
Joe Phoenix > to think your missing your daughters life just to do this
Joe Phoenix > thats actuelly upsetting to think
Joe Phoenix > why don't you go and do somthing with her
Joe Phoenix > she won't be young for long
Joe Phoenix > how is she going to remember you?
Joe Phoenix > that man who sat on the computer all day?
Joe Phoenix > and judging by your wife and the crap you feed your daughter... id imagine thats true
Joe Phoenix > i just noticed somthing...
Joe Phoenix > your wife...
Joe Phoenix > are you a chubby chaiser or somthing?
Joe Phoenix > not really, i could go on to say your house is a pile of shit and my baby looks like shes been inbred
Joe Phoenix > did your mother fuck our brother and give birth to a baby who fucked your father to creat that?

JOE AND FAMOUS LAST WORDS
Joe Phoenix > oh yorn
Joe Phoenix > he won't even get through my shields

JOE AND SEXUALITY
Joe Phoenix > im a bi-stander
Joe Phoenix > as u should see the things i can do with my dick…
Joe Phoenix > remember damien, its not rap if you say "suprise"
Joe Phoenix > oough homophobia
Joe Phoenix > wow... i guessing your a lesbian..... butch male type who was rejected as a young child and has developed some kind of emotionless extirior shell which is only ever penertrated by that 16inch dildo you keep in your room

JOE AND CAPITAL PUNISHMENT
Joe Phoenix > oh yer damien sorry we publicly exicuted you...

JOE AND ZEDRIK CAYNE
Joe Phoenix > zedrik!!!
Joe Phoenix > such a dickhead zedrik
Joe Phoenix > your so fucking boring zedrik... Seriously
Joe Phoenix > yer zedrik i said fuck
Joe Phoenix > whats the matter zedrik... no witty come back?
Joe Phoenix > i have no time for your childish games zedrik
Joe Phoenix > you talk out of your arse crack zedrik
Joe Phoenix > zedrik nobody cares
Joe Phoenix > im afraid belt rats give us more problems then you do zedrik...
Joe Phoenix > childist and pointless insults cannot hurt me zedrik, i am above you.
Joe Phoenix > i have no patience for you zedrik
Joe Phoenix > zedrik your the only problem here
Joe Phoenix > see zedrik, nobody cares what you think...
Joe Phoenix > OH
Joe Phoenix > and zedriks a trolling pussy
Joe Phoenix > hahaha oh zedrik your fear is soo tastie
Joe Phoenix > this was because i called zedriks wife fat isn't it...
Joe Phoenix > ok heres whats going to happen.. you come out to an astroid field.. we'l warp and scramble you.. and then zedrik comes along.. we kill him
Joe Phoenix > kill zedrik cayne
Joe Phoenix > then we black mail zedrik...
Joe Phoenix > zedrik is my arch enemy
Joe Phoenix > yer we fucked up zedriks bruxtor the other day…
Joe Phoenix > just what this space zedrik, you won't continue to destroy corps for fun
Joe Phoenix > zedrik please don't try and spread the same bullshit on my bread
Joe Phoenix > and zedrik i will not let you continue bullying corps for your amusement....
Joe Phoenix > i do shed a tear zedrik... i really do
Joe Phoenix > your so completely pointless zedrik
Joe Phoenix > ough zedrik has turned up
Joe Phoenix > I AM FUCKING TALK TO YOU ZEDRIK CAYNE AND YOU WILL LISSON!!
Joe Phoenix > I am zedrik

JOE AND GRAMMAR
Joe Phoenix > ... your sentance structure sucks..
Joe Phoenix > its spelt WINE
Joe Phoenix > dumb fuck
Joe Phoenix > oh lack of the odd commer and full stock and you cant understand me...

JOE AND ARSEHATS
Joe Phoenix > arsehat...
Joe Phoenix > 1, nobody would ever use the arse for a hat
Joe Phoenix > 2, nobody has every insurted there head up there own arse, with the acception of zedrik
Joe Phoenix > 3, nobody has ever been called an arsehate, making it a pointless insult
Joe Phoenix > 4, why would an arse require a hat?
Joe Phoenix > 5, why would you want to wear a hat made out of arse....
Joe Phoenix > 6, why is being an arsehat be a derogatery term?
Joe Phoenix > and an ass hat emplies youv made a hate out of a donkey...
Joe Phoenix > slightly diserbing

IN CONCLUSION
Joe Phoenix > if there are no more questions.
Joe Phoenix > a waste or your time
Joe Phoenix > a waste of my time
Joe Phoenix > now if thats everything
Joe Phoenix > chat logs can easily be fiddled
Joe Phoenix > you must no that
Joe Phoenix > your a sad... sad little man
Joe Phoenix > i think id remember my own convosation you dumb fuck

Joe Phoenix > im arfraid communications now have to stop, since zedrik has turned up

I'll leave the rest up to you, dear reader.